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    What Do You Call Dick Cheney Shooting a Lawyer

    June 13th, 2008

    A Good Start!

    Now that is one great American, leading by example. Indeed it was great to see he shot the Lawyer in the foot so he could not sneak or slither away. Unfortunately as Vice President Cheney moved in to finish him off, someone else noticed and he had to stop. But it is the thought that counts. Why is it that it takes such great leaders to do what everyone has longed to do their entire lives?

    If everyone in real man in America took out one Lawyer hunting each year, why we would be rid of the whole lot of those boilerplate, word smithing, professional parasites in no time. Just think of it no more lawyers. And hell if you shoot em’ how can they sue you, just be sure to wait until no one else is around and hey? It was an accident you see.

    There is no greater hero in my book than Vice President Dick Cheney for taking that lawyer out there an pumping him full of bird shot. Boy oh boy had it been me, I surely would have taken credit for it also. It is good to see that the Vice President is one of us after all. Good man indeed.

    If anything comes of this the President ought to pardon him right away and give him the Presidential Metal of honor for his duty to country to help us rid the World of all these damn lawyers. Just think with all the lawyers gone they cannot run for public office either; heck we would have this Nation cleaned up once and for all. The slogan could be; “Shoot em’, shovel em’ and shut up!” Consider this in 2006.

    Lance Winslow - EzineArticles Expert Author

    “Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/


    A Key In Hand Is Worth A Thousand On My Desk

    May 3rd, 2008

    A key fault I have, and I can only talk about one fault at a time, is the tendency to get busy. I often find myself chasing my own tail. What I will do with it when I catch it is beyond my understanding. However, this notwithstanding, I fall into the trap time after time of getting too busy for my own good.

    The faster I try to go; the less I seem to accomplish.

    This past week proved no exception; in fact, everything came to a head on Monday. I had my To-Do-List all prioritized and neatly written on several 3 by 5 cards stuffed in my shirt pocket. Earlier I went through them item by item to make sure I could maximize the day. After all, “The early bird catches the worm.”

    Being the turkey I am, I have no idea what I’m going to do with the worm when I catch it, particularly if it’s early in the morning when all I want is a good cup of coffee. Yet, I can often be found imitating that “early bird” scurrying around with my list of important things to do.

    Getting back to my Monday catastrophe, and I can’t think of another word that adequately describes last Monday. Sure, I’ve had catastrophes before. But this one was the wicked stepmother of all catastrophes.

    After organizing my 3 by 5 cards, I made some mental notes as to how long each job would take. Returning those cards to my shirt pocket, I smiled the smile of one who has conquered his day. I felt good about myself and was anxious to get started on my day.

    My day started out rather well. In fact, I discovered by mid-morning I was ahead of schedule. I chuckled to myself and thought, “next time I’ll have a longer To-Do-List.”

    Suddenly, everything came to a screech owl halt.

    I needed to pick up something at my office, which would only take a moment. I pulled up to my office door, jumped out of the car and unlocked the office door.

    The office door can only be locked from the outside, with a key. The inside has a handicap bar according to the building code. I thought I would save time by unlocking the door and then locking it while I went inside to retrieve the item I needed. This would mean when I came to leave I could walk out, shut the door behind me and it would lock automatically.

    This would save me exactly .00003 seconds of time. As time is precious, I thought it worth the effort.

    The plan was going fine. Walking past my desk, I laid my keys on top of my desk. About this time I remembered something I needed from the car and dashed out to retrieve it. Just as I got to my car, I heard the door slam shut and one thought meandered through my stunned mind; “the keys.”

    The keys were exactly where I had left them on my desk in my office.

    My first thought was to panic. So, for about seven minutes I luxuriated in sheer panic.

    My second thought was, “how am I going to get inside the building?”

    I must confess my second thought drowned out my first. Some may have the luxury of indulging in panic, but I was on a schedule. My To-Do-List was begging to be done that day.

    I circled the building three times and then laid down in sheer bewilderment. Not one door was unlocked. Not one window was accessible from the outside. All the effort put into making our building burglarproof was my nightmare in shinning alarm.

    I thought of breaking a window but what if someone saw me? Also, I’d have to pay for the damages.

    In my mind, I went over everybody who had a key to our church. Everyone I could think of was out of town or working. Even my wife was in Daytona Beach.

    Then I had a brilliant thought. I must confess I don’t have many but when I do, it brightens up my day. “The builder of the church might have a key.” For some odd reason I had my cell phone with me, so I called the builder.

    Unfortunately for me, he did not have a spare key to our building. My heart sank into the sole of my right foot because I had no options left.

    Then the builder said, “I’ll send one of my carpenters over to take a door off and let you in.” I did not know that could be done, but I was glad for any help I could get at this point.

    Within a few moments, the carpenter showed up. As he got out of his truck, I could see a sly smile smeared all over his puss. I took it like a man; a man locked out of his own office.

    He spent about an hour taking the door off its hinges. Just as he finished my cell phone rang. A lady from the church with a spare church key was five minutes away.

    I never told the carpenter about the last minute key because he worked so hard taking the door off and then putting it back on again.

    Only one key in life really matters and that is Jesus, who said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6 KJV.)

    He is the only key that opens the door to heaven and I can never lose him.

    About the Author

    Reverend Snyder is currently ministering at the “Family of God
    Fellowship” in Ocala, Florida. More of his articles are available
    for reprint at his website: http://www.godspenman.com/
    Rev. Snyder is available as a guest speaker. He writes a weekly
    column and is the author of “You Can Always Tell a Pastor; But Not Very Much ” available at: http://www.jamessnyderministries.com/


    And the World Goes ‘Round

    April 10th, 2008

    If you are a citizen of UK or Australia, you are permitted to snicker at this problem. Anchorage, Alaska, just opened its first two roundabouts at a major intersection.

    Not a big deal if you are experienced at negotiating roundabouts, but Anchorage residents certainly are not. The good thing about a roundabout is that it substitutes common sense and courtesy for traffic lights and signs. The bad thing is that Anchorage drivers have never been accused of common sense or courtesy.

    The roundabouts have been built on either side of our Seward Highway where about 20,000 vehicles per day will attempt to pass through unscathed. Accidents are expected, especially during the road-slick winter months.

    Luckily, there are three auto body shops and three auto repair facilities within two or three blocks of the roundabouts. They may be considering running a “Roundabout Special.”

    Well, I decided to try out the roundabouts and, guess what, I had no problems. In fact I enjoyed driving through the roundabouts so much that I turned around and drove through them again. Then, just for grins, I went back for a third trip, whirling all the way around and back out the way I came. Amazingly, I was not able to cause any accidents. So I went home.

    A bit dizzy.

    EzineArticles Expert Author Garry Gamber

    Garry Gamber is a public school teacher. He writes articles about politics, real estate, health and nutrition, and internet dating services. He is a founding member of http://www.GoodPoliticsRadio.com and the owner of http://www.TheDatingAdvisor.com